What a year…
I’m mentally not okay and I haven’t been okay in a long long time. I thought after some time I’d eventually get better but after a pretty bad mental breakdown, a week in a mental hospital under SW, a lot of medication so I can function as “normal person”… I finally started working on my healing. This year I learned that is okay not to be okay. I learned that I hate when people say that I’m strong because that just add more weight to my shoulders. I don’t want to be strong. I dream of never being called strong again. I just want to be me.
I’ve been learning and understanding that grief is equal to pain. It’s a pain that I can feel any day, any time… I won’t get over it… there are not five stages and then all of a sudden I will be good.
This year I learned that IG is a trigger and that people asking me if I’m okay triggers me. That’s why I walked away from social media and people, and decided to focus on keep creating art while healing.
So, thank you to all of you that were part of this 2023 because without you knowing it you were helping me to heal… It makes me happy seeing all of your post about your accomplishments and happiest memories. I can say my biggest achievement is that I survived this 2023! I made tons of mistakes and learned from them. Although I’m still in the accepting process of the fact that my husband or Luci won’t come through the door, I now know that they are always by my side. I survived, I’m here and I’ll keep trying everyday to find more reason to be alive.
π€πΌFor a better and nicer 2οΈβ£0οΈβ£2οΈβ£4οΈβ£ for you, for me and for we all π₯
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P.s. Huge thanks to my parents, my sister and her husband, to my nephew and @maryammodonif for being by my side and holding my hand were I couldn’t breathe.
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#whatayear #bye2023 #grief #griefjourney #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthwarrior
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